Lyrical Schpiel: Tigers and Kaisers

I’ve been cruising through life like a hypnotist
Making alien life forms inspect my inner bliss
It’s cos I’m swift like a protagonist
Don’t tell me Drew Barrymore ain't Never Been Kissed

So c’mon c’mon and let your face taste my fist
You can be America and I can be a terrorist
What is this? You think I’ll try and miss?
Don’t try and diss you fucking mentalist

See this is tranquilizers tigers and motherfucking synthesizers
I’m like a bipolar pole when you hear my lyrical conscribers
Musically me and Helen Hunt’ll sneak up behind your mum and surprise her
See we’re Mad About You cos you fight just like Paul Reiser

While I’m at it I’ll inspect your new lobotomy
An I’ll full frontal execute on top of those on top of me
No-one spotted me as I escaped with your pottery
It’s not your fault your homemade crockery is a mockery

Reluctantly I’ll move like a spiritual, lyrical, Para metaphysical
Hysterical fool, jacked up to near critical
It’d be a miracle if I live to see my next physical
But I’m typical like that when the alpha-omega becomes visible

I’m a fizzable taste on the worlds tongue
From the start of my life I knew the war was won
Once fallen and now they all succumb
Bringing peace and love to the sound of my drum

How’d I do it? I thought you’d never ask
See I got passed on the first draft but now it’s my time to pass
Smoke your cancer sticks boys cos here comes the nuclear blast
And me an the cockroaches are the only thing to last

When there’s nothing left but love and Billy Zane
There’ll still be people crashing other people’s expensive planes
In to other peoples expensive buildings in the rain
An me and Zeppelin will shout out The Song Remains The Same

This could be written fifty years into the past
But the future generation wouldn’t pay heed to this year’s class
For life’s all about figuring problems from first day until last
An we’re judged by who drives the ship and who sits alone in the mast

Maybe words aren’t as powerful as they used to be
Maybe Drew Barrymore's career died after E.T
Maybe Hunt and Reiser didn’t want to end up on TV
And maybe Billy Zane shoulda died.

Fin