Next On The List: The Tournament

Synopsis : Every seven years in an unsuspecting town, The Tournament takes place. A battle royale between 30 of the world's deadliest assassins. The last man standing receiving the $10,000,000 cash prize and the title of Worlds No 1, which itself carries the legendary million dollar a bullet price tag.



We shall see....

Film Review: The Beach

The Beach: The worst film Danny Boyle has ever made. FACT. I hadn't seen this since it originally came out and i still don't like it now. I read the book long time ago an i felt the film never did it justice and instead became a vechicle for dicarryout to make a pretty boy name for himself after titanic. I still believe that to be correct. People always say that the books are always better than the films an it takes a strong film to transcend those boundaries, that is true and whats truer is the fact that this film IS FUCKING REGURGIATED DOGSHITE. I despise it and i despise the treatment it gave Garland's characters. I felt the same at the time and it refreshing to see the hatred levels have not wained in eleven years. Imagine if they made Catcher in the Rye and just completly changed Holden into what they believed would make a greater film for the unintelligent dumb-audiences who reallly wouldnt be there to see the film at all but rather to que up and to buy tickets to the newest Shia vehicle or Chris Pine film. The anger still rages on but nevertheless Robert Caryle & the scenary are both still great. I'd recommend reading the book instead. Visually stunning with no depth. Annonyingly poor. 1.5 /5

Film Review: The Children

The Children: Any film that makes you question what your 4 year old niece is really thinking and if she would indeed have enough power to ram a set of car keys through your eyes is definatley one that y'all should be checking out. By f*ck are these kids scary little monsters. It makes me wonder if all children actions are premediated through a series of evil fucking looks and it genuinely left me feeling a bit uneasy afterwards. Fucking creepy little bastards. I cant believe i thought my god-daughter could do half the things these kids do but i suppose that is the power of the movies when you can believe the unbelievable. This is a very low budget film set in some dainty english village around christmas time and basically in a nutshell the kids are little fuckers. Its not The Omen or anything but it is just creepy. I'd recommend watchin this late at night then afterwards, while on your way to the bathroom, having a chance meeting with your 4 year old niece in the hall and seeing how you deal with it. A very uneasing piece of celluoid. Catch it if you have young ones in the house. 2.5 / 5

Film Review: Meet The Spartans

I watched the first 20 mins & turned it off. Fucking patheticly rubbish SHITE!!! inside the first 5 mins we had puke & fart jokes. I reckoned that one of these types of films has to be decent sometime and but this is not it. It may be superhero movie or disaster movie cos i havent seen them but it sure as f*ck isnt any of the others. Pile of dogwank. Dont even look at the poster of it anymore. Turn your tv off and burn it for even having seen Aidan dressed as One Two. Piss Poor after 20 mins - so Brian Wilson only knows how bad it'll be by the end. Avoid. 0 / 5